Love

Today is the first time i experienced that.
First.
I held on, i didn't want to show that side of me to others.
I just want to display that brave side of me.
I want people to remember that that's me, Cheryl, brave, daring, happy like always 24/7.
Who wants people to see the down side of them right?

We all need hugs, we are humane.
I just learnt something today.
Love needs no reason, to love or being in love, or being loved by someone is always a bliss.
If you need a reason to love somebody, it means you are just loving that part of him or her instead of everything.
Love means to accept someone despite their flaws, despite you know that you will not get something in return, knowing that that person will not reciprocate your love for you, knowing that no matter what you do, miracles won't happen.
That's love.

Just received a long text from my dear bestfr and i teared immediately. Wanting to tear so much ended up tearing now. Always making me tear so much, since when did i become so emotional?
Long texts do make me tear like i don't know since when but it still does now.
Sometimes I'm really glad that i've found them in my life.
I really think that what's life without them?
Regardless friends, best friends, friends of friends, friends of friends of friends, i still do cherish my friendship with each and one of them.

It seems like they are the second closest thing to me apart from my family.
If you know how a single and only child feels in the family, that's how i treat them so dearly.

Last time was G's incident, when i thought we aren't friends anymore, till i lost hope in our friendship after so much had happened to us. I'm glad we still talk now, and that we are closing the gap between us slowly even though there's still this barrier between us.

G's incident make me think a lot, i tend to push people away, as i think I'm never good enough of them. I don't like people treating me so nice. 'cause in the end, they ended up getting hurt by me. Push them away, to prevent anybody from getting hurt, 'cause they are so close and dear to me that i don't want them to feel hurt or sad or emotional 'cause of me. You may be disappointed by me for pushing you away, but that's the only option that i have to help this situation.


Dear RB, although i don't know what really happened in between, i hope you are feeling fine now after all the happy food and encouragements and hugs and jokes that we had with you just now. What's life without you? School can be boring like hell, and we can be lazy at times but isn't that part of life, and that's when we enter or rather you enter my life to brighten my gloomy days up. You are like sunshine, you know when to shine or appear when i need you. As long as you need me, i'll be there. I swear against the light, or whatsoever, i'll be just right beside you. Call, text,hug whatever you need. I won't push you aside nor i will leave you alone. 'Cause i know how terrible it feels to be alone when you feel sucky.
No matter what, i still love you for who you are. This is part and parcel of life.
Like i've said,

"Life is not about all the happiness, it's about how you deal with those unhappiness with the happiness you've gotten in your hands."

Don't tell me you have none of the happiness, 'cause i believe that each and everyone of us has our happiness in our own ways.


and for you, SW, i have nothing much to say, i feel like you're just another G, who suddenly disappeared in my life. Seems like i lost you already, for now. I feel hopeless about it.
It's like a dent that will not be back in its shape.




xx
time to sleep, Goodnight (:)